Does being a DIL mean you're the middleman slash messenger?

I received a call from MIL last night.

The conversation went:

MIL : Hello? Daughter-in-law? Is (name of husband) around?
DIL : He's playing basketball
MIL : Nag-text ako sa kanya re: Subic sa 25 to 27, nakuha ba niya?
DIL : (silence)
MIL : Wala ba siyang na-mention sa inyo?
DIL : Sinabi lang niya, ang sagot ko is OK
MIL : Okay, kasi hindi siya nag reply sa akin eh. Paki sabi i-text ako.

Okay - so, why does she have to call to ask me?
Call your son directly to ask!!

Minsan tuloy feeling ko - ako ang middleman slash messenger nitong dalawang taong ito.

I hate this... Really.

Where is the reason in that?

Okay - this is the first Christmas that husband and I are spending together. Right after we got married, we agreed that we'd spend the 24th with my family and 25th with his family. Perfect right?

Well, it was.. Until MIL planned to host her mom side of the family's Christmas party at my house. Yes, you read that right. At my house. Did she ask my permission? No, she didn't. She just told husband about it - and I think husband had a memory lapse on our agreement.

Husband then said that we'd spend the 24th with my family. Then right after dinner, we'd rush home to where the party is. I know for a fact that its weird to have a party where the hosts are no where to be found - right? MIL thought so too!

MIL then announces at a family dinner 'Dapat, nagtanong muna si (my name) kung ano ang plans, kagaya ni DIL - she asked before kung ano ang plano. Tsaka, pag kinasal na - ang babae dapat magadjust sa pamilya ng lalake' She then goes on and on about certain daughters she knows who don't join the family affair anymore. And to think that I am just nearby!! She chooses to make parinig!! WHERE IS THE FREAKING MANNERS IN THAT??!?

She's really something else, I tell you.

Something else!! :)

Please pray with me - that I may be given the wisdom to answer her back with wit and just the right amount of sarcasm.

Please - send me the wisdom to answer with wit, politeness and truth.

Where are your manners MIL?

Weren't we all taught to respect other people's properties?
To ask permission to borrow someone else's belongings?
Not to touch just anything without asking permission?
To NOT open mail that isn't addressed to you?

Well, my MIL - she's really something you know!!

She called me last weekend and said
'Hi - my name, si Mommy ito - nakuha ko yung Bayantel Bill niyo no, naka-address sayo..' She then began to lecture me to pay bills on time.

What the faaaaaack?!

Why in the first place did she open mail that was NOT addressed to her?

And to LECTURE me on it? What the faaaaaaaaack??!!

I was furious!!

I mean - where are your freaking manners MIL!! Hindi ba tinuro sa eskwelahan niyo iyan??!!

I then told hubby in a visibly irritated voice! Hahahaha... He said he'll tell MIL.

Okay, fine - I knew she meant well, BUT she could have just said 'I opened your mail by accident, I'm sending it back to you' Simple as that right?

My MIL - is really some piece of work...

Competing with affection..

I never felt the feeling of competing with anyone's attention or affection.

But now, I know what it feels like now.

MIL is officially competing for husband's affection. I've actually had this nagging feeling that MIL likes to ask husband for affection, but I've just been putting it aside - no harm no foul right?

But just a few days ago - she did it in front of my face she tells husband blatantly - 'Kiss mommy', the proceeds to raise her arms up to embrace husband. But husband only kisses her and doesn't embrace her back!

Now, why does she need to do that in front of my face?

It was then that I realized that she was competing for husband's affection. She was testing to see if husband will embrace her back. But I'm secure - I don't need to make unnecessary gestures to get affection. I'm not even worried at all!!

to MIL - YES, I know husband is your favorite. But it doesn't mean you're his favorite.

Bwahahahahaha!!

Not invited to a party in our own house!

Okay - so I hear that there will be a party at my home. At my freaking home.

Why didn't I know about this? Because nobody told me!

Who organized the party? Who else but MIL!

Does husband know? Nope!!

Okay - so how did it happen?

SIL tells me that she thinks (family) parties will be held now at my house. I ask her why and she tells me because a party will be held at my house a few weeks from now. I then told her I had no idea what she was saying. She then apologized saying that she thought I knew about it.

Great. I was not aware that there was a party to be held at my home - more so, I was NOT freaking invited!!

I thought maybe MIL told husband - but when I asked husband last night - he freaking said he had no idea! MIL didn't tell him either.

SIL tells me that MIL has been inviting people over to my house for the party - Now, why invite people over at someone else's house for a party?

MIL is the host yes - BUT where is she hosting the party? NOT at her house.

Where are her manners???

I hate her even more, you know??!!

Hating her more and more....

The day after the wedding MIL told me that one of the waiters spilled red wine on one of our foreign guest. This foreign guest is the dauther-in-law of FIL's cousin who is based in an asian country.

MIL said that the dress was brought back to the asian country as they DIL owns a laundry shop.

Now - MIL wants to ask the hotel to compensate the guest's dress. As she said that it cost the DIL UKD2,000.00

MIL then instructed me to call my account exec to let her know the situation - which I did. I got a reply from the Banquet Service head saying that the guest was compensated with a massage gift certificate.

Now - I sent it to MIL. MIL then replied that since I write very well - I have to write a complain letter asking for proper compensation. Okay - I am willing to write the complain letter - provided that I have a certification of somekind to prove that the stain could not be removed despite efforts to do so. Simple right?

Well, apparently NOT for her! She doesn't see the point of a certification. 'What for?!' asked MIL - Pusang Hilaw - Shempre for proof diba?!

I write complain letters WITH BASIS and not because I just feel like it!!

Ayokong mapahiya, period.

Cut the nail hanging on my foot!

We were out of town last weekend.

She went down the stairs and asked 'Who has a nail cutter?'

Shempre - the girl scout in me raised her hand.

She then sat down beside me and showed me the nail hanging from one of her toes. She then said that it was naputol and she needed something to cut it out.

I then took out my reliable nipper and small nail cutter.

She then tries to cut it out. She first used the scissor type nipper.

She wasn't successful.

She then tried the small MUJI nail cutter.

She wasn't successful either.

She then handed me the nail cutter and said 'Ikaw na magputol, hindi ako marunong'

What the FUCK?!

Of course I refused! I even shrieked 'No way!'

Firstly - we're NOT that close.
Secondly - its FILTHY!!
Thirdly - I just REFUSE to do it!!

She cut it herself eventually - with the help of my nail cutter.

Wala nga manlang akong 'Thank You' eh!!

She then made a simangot face. I didn't care! Hahahaha....

Husband was seated beside me during the whole encounter.

Bwahahahahaha!!

What doesn't she understand?

MIL asks me if we received the gift one of her friends gave us. Apparently, her friends are asking if we got their gift which they bought from our bridal registry at Rustan's because if they didn't - the friends will complain to Rustan's about it.

There's a list that Rustan's gave us that included the items bought, who bought them and if the items were hand carried by the guests (guests will deliver) or if it was delivered by Rustan's.

For that particular gift - it was noted in the Rustan's list that the item was hand carried.

So - how the hell will Rustan's deliver a gift that was hand carried out by the guest? And who will the friends complain to? Their drivers?

I sent MIL a text message saying 'WE GOT IT. THE GIFT WAS BROUGHT BY THEM TO THE RECEPTION AND WAS NOT DELIVERED BY RUSTANS'

MIL didn't seem to understand - she then sent me another text message saying 'FRIENDS ARE WORRIED, PLEASE CHECK IF RUSTAN'S DELIVER OR NOT'

Pati grammar - mali pa.

Bwahahahahahahha!!!

And ti BEGINS..

Yes, I really do have a mother-in-law. Its official. And I hate it/her!!

She's very makulit and tactless.

Stories? Want to hear them?

Story #1
To get in touch with husband - she needs to call me. Why the effing hell right?! Husband HAS a mobile phone and she is well aware of that! But why call me to get to him? I am NOT his secretary. I have NO PLANS on becoming it!

Story #2
She hosts a party AT MY HOUSE!! At my effing house!! Why? Because she wants to make yabang the house she supposedly spent money on. Bullshit!! The agenda was that the party was for the principal sponsor sibling - BUT what happened was - she invites about 30 guests.. WITHOUT TELLING ME!! What she told me was that a handful of people will be attending - a handful - what does that mean right? It means - about 10 or so, but I guess she has alien hands for she invited a total of 25 people!!

Story #3
She walks in freely in my house - enters whenever she wants to. Inspects my refrigerator and berrates my helper asking her questions like if she has a cellphone and what to do in case of an emergency! She even went as far as asking what food will be prepared that day and when my witty helper said to ask me - she was shocked!?

Story #4
She calls the house every so often!! I wonder why!! I mean my own mother rarely calls!! Why does she? I surmise she's just being KSP (kulang sa pansin) about it.

Story #5
She insists that husband and I sleepover at her place one weekend because she is alone. FIL and SIL will be out of town. Her house? She lives in a well guarded compound with relatives as neighbors. Why the hell does she need us to sleepover?!

Story #6
She apparently wants to see the pictures ahead of everyone else! I already told her that I had asked our wonderful photographer for a copy of the raw pics - and photographer was againsts the idea saying that the pictures won't be as good as the ones he'll be fixing. Problem solved - but then just this morning - she calls and asks me AGAIN. WTF?!

I am getting pissed and irritated. I am already starting to ignore her.

Seat Plan Part 2!!

Okay - so at the engagement, MIL planned a seat plan that backfired.

Now, she's still planning to make one for our VIP tables.

She declared that FIL wanted to sit all the Principal Sponsors together in 1 table. How can that freaking be if 1 table can only accommodate 12 people?!!

Don't they know how to count??!!

Darnit!!

Laaaaaaaate!!

Engagement - hosts are shempre Fiance's family right?

MIL arrived LATE!! Ano ba naman yan!! :)

MIL was late - probably because she went to the parlor to beautify herself. It was quite embarrassing actually - I mean, the hosts - were no where to be found! They arrived late - not that late, but still late!!

Good thing, Fiance had the presence of mind to pick me up!! Buti nalang talaga!! :)

One down - one more to goooooooooo!! :)

Saturday morning call

She called at 9:30am, the conversation went on like this:

Ito suggestion lang ah, kasi since hindi naman tayo magdidisplay at mage-exchange ng watch. Bakit kelangan pa ng corsage and boutonnaire? Yung dozens of roses, ipapadala ko talaga kay Fiance for you para romantic naman. Pero kasi kung gawin natin ito, bitin lang eh! Pero suggestion lang ito ah.

My mom's only request was for me and Fiance to exchange flowers, for me to pin the boutonnaire and for Fiance to place a corsage on my wrist. THAT is the only request. Why in freaking hell will she need to imply to scrap the idea? What the freaking hell for? I was really irritated and just blurted out 'Eh yan yung gusto ko eh!'

With that - she just said 'Ah, okay - sige sige'

IN THE FIRST PLACE - why does she need to ask me the significance when she was the one who sent me a note asking what kinds of flowers will be needed??!!!

(I will take a pic of that note and post it here, as proof!!)

The preparation is really driving me crazy..

The Mother in Law Chronicles

Incident #1

Last Tuesday - MIL asked me to count the number of guests my side will have for the get-together/getting-to-know each other lunch so that she can make a reservation already. I had my mom count and gave MIL the round number 24.

The next morning - Fiance calls and tells me that I have to cut out some people on my list because apparently - hindi kakasiya, because they will only have 12 people and that's not enough!

A few minutes later - MIL calls me (on my DUO as she has one too!) and tells me to clarify and confirm if all 24 will be attending. Now, how in the hell will I be able to cut people out - when my family has already sent word to the guests? How can we tell them not to come, right?

Then I called the venue to verify - I was told that the room can accommodate tables of 12s, 14s and 16s. Now - why didn't MIL think of asking the venue to verify if the number can indeed be accommodated? Sheesh!!

A few minutes later - I get another call, telling me that they can already accommodate all of us. There was a hint of disappointment in her voice because her first grandchild won't be able to join us because of the count.

The next day - she calls me again, asking me for a list. This is because (she gathers) since its a getting to know each other things - all the female principal sponsors, moms and grannies with me included should be seated together! All the males, Fiance included should be done too! Thus she needed to make a seat plan. Simple right? Well, it seemed so complicated to her. I had to fax her my list and she had to see where to sit whom!!

It didn't end there! Apparently - on their side, one pair of principal sponsor will not be attending. Great right? I mean all along - she was asking me to cut out people off my list when in fact she herself did NOT confirm her guests!! Ano ba yan?! Kalokohan diba??!!

Just before the day ended - her 'master' plan of having me and Fiance get to know our principal sponsors went pfft! Why? Well, because she placed me and Fiance to the 'kids' table. So, why did she have to make a seat plan and make a big deal out of the 'getting to know one another' when she will seat me and Fiance to another table?

Kalookohan talaga!!!