Here we go again.
My MIL just came from a trip abroad. Giving of pasalubong is a staple for them, its a must when going abroad. I am the exact opposite. I am not one to give out pasalubongs, I just give when I remembered, but its not an important thing. I learned that the family I married into, is, well - its a tradition for them to have pasalubongs.
And so I learned from E. So every trip we made, we ALWAYS had to buy pasalubongs. The number of pasalubongs increased every year - as there were additions to the families, and I didn't mind this. Except, only E buys pasalubongs for HIS family. As for my family, well - to be honest, wala - kasi we're not like that na family. We only buy what is important, hindi kelangan may pasalubong, as long as you have stories to share and enjoyed the trip - that is the pasalubong enough.
So here comes E's mom just a few hours ago. She beamed with delight showing me the things she bought for my kids. She then shows me a figurine that she got for E because he's into displaying things. And then she hands me three (3) things - a Body Shop Olive Oil body butter, a Lancome mascara and a tube of chocolates. Of course, without missing a beat - I say 'Thank you' (I always say Thank You). After a while, I realized - Body Shop is available anywhere - its even always on sale in the malls here in Manila, so it made it think - was this gift one of those 'recycle-the-ones-you-don't-use-anymore-gifts'? So I examined the item - and true enough, it was sealed by a scotch tape.
I felt bad.
I mean - I really did. This was a person who declared to us daughters and son in law 'Pati kayo, parang tunay ko ng anak'
Does a mother present a pasalubong from another country an item that she has in a manner of speaking 'pinagsawaan' na? I mean you can just hand it to me and tell me its mine if I like it because you have no use for it anymore. Or simply just don't give me anything - AT ALL. Honestly, I don't mind receiving any pasalubong, just give something to my kids - and I'm happy with that.
Question is - WHY do you need to pretend to give me a pasalubong when in the first place, WALA NAMAN TALAGA.
Why pretend? Why kid yourself and justify? What the ever hell for?
I know for a fact that I am the LEAST liked in-law and I honestly don't effing care! But its so insulting to get something like that. Parang dapat di mo nalang ako ininsulto? You think I wouldn't find out?
And to think you are the preachy kind of Christian pa.
Always makes me want to ask her 'Where are you manners?'
I guess, its nowhere to be found..
Insulted - AGAIN!
Kwento kwento ng mga happenings at karanasan with my MIL. I am not alone!!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Traydor
I trust people easily.
Thus, I when I am betrayed - I feel bad. But I've learned to move on from this experience. I treat it as a 'learn from experience' thing. But then, I have to admit, I never seem to learn. I trust and then I get betrayed. Its a vicious cycle.
So let's begin.
You see, in the family that I married - I have two sisters-in-law, one is the sister of E and the other is the wife of E's younger brother. L is the sister of E, while S is the wife of E's brother G. I met L,awaaq`qq long before E and I met. We used to carpool to and from our university, S - I met when I got together with E. I am the type of person who likes to talk - madaldal ika-nga, and I am very friendly, thus - S and I became instant friends.
Fast forward to S and G being married, E became their house border because E's family home was being renovated that time. And during the time E was a border, S and I grew closer. In fact, when S and G left for the US to give birth, it was I who took care of their household. Imagine, me - a stranger, taking over control - this was how much they trusted me.
Fast forward to me being married to E. S and I grew a lot closer, I considered her a very good friend - in fact, I considered her the sister I never had. I trusted her COMPLETELY. And since becoming real sisters-in-law - we've never had any problems, NEVER.
Our Mother-In-Law (MIL) well, I've had bad experiences with her and so - alam mo na, I've distanced myself from her. This was while E and I were still dating - it came to a point that I hated her while E and I were planning the wedding. And so after the wedding, I officially distanced myself from her, kumbaga - umiwas na ako. I didn't want to have a complicated relationship with her. But you see, our relationship didn't improve, in fact - if you ask me, it deteriorated. I became more distant because I think for her, her definition of marrying into the family is that she can boss you around. I am very much willing to be bossed around provided that the person bossing me is NICE.
Fast forward to three years and a half. MIL was invited to this wedding to which the invitation said to include the WHOLE family. She told us (her sons and daughters-in-law) about two weeks before the event. E, who is NOT an obidient son - told me that he wasn't planning to go AT ALL. And that he had the perfect excuse - he had a basketball game that afternoon. He told me to make up my own excuse, and I did - it was perfect actually because our Yaya was on vacation, thus - no one would be taking care of our little Girl K. S had told me that our MIL told her that S be the one to go with her, and so when MIL told me, I sent S a text message telling her to make up her own excuse. This text I was supposed to send S - I mistakenly sent to our MIL. I honestly didn't have an idea that I did this booboo - until last Monday!
When E got home, he asked me what message I sent his mother. I wasn't aware that I sent any, so he gave me a hint 'Sinend mo sa kanya yung text mo for S!'And then proceeded to tell me 'You can talk about her behind her back and bash her if you want but don't send her those messages!' He then proceeded to tell me to apologize. And I did, I went to her after dinner - I actually called her first to make sure she was home (E was telling me to wait for her to arrive in our compound because she was going to the gym here, but I didn't want to, I thought it would be nicer if I went to her first and not waited for her to come to me) And so I drove to her home, only to find out that she LEFT already. And this was after she said that she wasn't coming over yet. And so I drove home, and went to her in the gym to apologize. I touched her shoulder and told her 'Mommy, I'm sorry, I know what I did was disrespectful and I'm sorry' She just replied 'Okay' and the said 'I think you better talk to S, because I already spoke to her'
And so I called S. Apparently, S knew about it already for a week but didn't say anything because she was told by MIL specifically NOT to mention anything to me. First things first - I felt bad, betrayed - because she already knew YET she didn't mention anything to me. If it were me, I'd tell S INSTANTLY, but that was me. S and I met for dinner, actually she was the only one who ate because I already ate. And so we talked, and S said that what she remembered MIL saying was that 'Sa lahat ng mga ginawa ko kay D (that's me!) ganyan lang?' this prompted me to ask 'Anong mga ginawa niya for me??' because honestly, I cannot recall anything. S said that MIL mentioned that she is trying hard to treat us like her daughters, to which I know is BS because do you traydor your kids? Do you throw them under the bus when push comes to shove? Well, she does that. And I think any mother will PROTECT her kind and not leave them to be killed.
Anyways, I went home but was bothered by S not telling me. So yesterday - I texted S that I wanted to talk to her. I told her that I was bothered with her not telling me. I told her that she could trust me to protect and defend her all the way to the finish. But I felt that she wouldn't do the same for me. So I asked her plainly if she had my back, and she said Yes. I don't know - I think I am disappointed with her. I thought she would defend me but she didnt.
Another disappointment was with E. Since he's the husband, I thought he would have just defended me and said sorry on my behalf. But he didn't and I accept that.
Bottom line is - EVERYONE WANTED TO SAVE THEIR ASSES. E didn't want his mother to know that he really didn't want to accompany him and S didn't want to admit to the fact that she too was thinking of an excuse not to go.
And so there - I was betrayed.
I wish them all well though..
Now, moving on! Haha...
Thus, I when I am betrayed - I feel bad. But I've learned to move on from this experience. I treat it as a 'learn from experience' thing. But then, I have to admit, I never seem to learn. I trust and then I get betrayed. Its a vicious cycle.
So let's begin.
You see, in the family that I married - I have two sisters-in-law, one is the sister of E and the other is the wife of E's younger brother. L is the sister of E, while S is the wife of E's brother G. I met L,awaaq`qq long before E and I met. We used to carpool to and from our university, S - I met when I got together with E. I am the type of person who likes to talk - madaldal ika-nga, and I am very friendly, thus - S and I became instant friends.
Fast forward to S and G being married, E became their house border because E's family home was being renovated that time. And during the time E was a border, S and I grew closer. In fact, when S and G left for the US to give birth, it was I who took care of their household. Imagine, me - a stranger, taking over control - this was how much they trusted me.
Fast forward to me being married to E. S and I grew a lot closer, I considered her a very good friend - in fact, I considered her the sister I never had. I trusted her COMPLETELY. And since becoming real sisters-in-law - we've never had any problems, NEVER.
Our Mother-In-Law (MIL) well, I've had bad experiences with her and so - alam mo na, I've distanced myself from her. This was while E and I were still dating - it came to a point that I hated her while E and I were planning the wedding. And so after the wedding, I officially distanced myself from her, kumbaga - umiwas na ako. I didn't want to have a complicated relationship with her. But you see, our relationship didn't improve, in fact - if you ask me, it deteriorated. I became more distant because I think for her, her definition of marrying into the family is that she can boss you around. I am very much willing to be bossed around provided that the person bossing me is NICE.
Fast forward to three years and a half. MIL was invited to this wedding to which the invitation said to include the WHOLE family. She told us (her sons and daughters-in-law) about two weeks before the event. E, who is NOT an obidient son - told me that he wasn't planning to go AT ALL. And that he had the perfect excuse - he had a basketball game that afternoon. He told me to make up my own excuse, and I did - it was perfect actually because our Yaya was on vacation, thus - no one would be taking care of our little Girl K. S had told me that our MIL told her that S be the one to go with her, and so when MIL told me, I sent S a text message telling her to make up her own excuse. This text I was supposed to send S - I mistakenly sent to our MIL. I honestly didn't have an idea that I did this booboo - until last Monday!
When E got home, he asked me what message I sent his mother. I wasn't aware that I sent any, so he gave me a hint 'Sinend mo sa kanya yung text mo for S!'And then proceeded to tell me 'You can talk about her behind her back and bash her if you want but don't send her those messages!' He then proceeded to tell me to apologize. And I did, I went to her after dinner - I actually called her first to make sure she was home (E was telling me to wait for her to arrive in our compound because she was going to the gym here, but I didn't want to, I thought it would be nicer if I went to her first and not waited for her to come to me) And so I drove to her home, only to find out that she LEFT already. And this was after she said that she wasn't coming over yet. And so I drove home, and went to her in the gym to apologize. I touched her shoulder and told her 'Mommy, I'm sorry, I know what I did was disrespectful and I'm sorry' She just replied 'Okay' and the said 'I think you better talk to S, because I already spoke to her'
And so I called S. Apparently, S knew about it already for a week but didn't say anything because she was told by MIL specifically NOT to mention anything to me. First things first - I felt bad, betrayed - because she already knew YET she didn't mention anything to me. If it were me, I'd tell S INSTANTLY, but that was me. S and I met for dinner, actually she was the only one who ate because I already ate. And so we talked, and S said that what she remembered MIL saying was that 'Sa lahat ng mga ginawa ko kay D (that's me!) ganyan lang?' this prompted me to ask 'Anong mga ginawa niya for me??' because honestly, I cannot recall anything. S said that MIL mentioned that she is trying hard to treat us like her daughters, to which I know is BS because do you traydor your kids? Do you throw them under the bus when push comes to shove? Well, she does that. And I think any mother will PROTECT her kind and not leave them to be killed.
Anyways, I went home but was bothered by S not telling me. So yesterday - I texted S that I wanted to talk to her. I told her that I was bothered with her not telling me. I told her that she could trust me to protect and defend her all the way to the finish. But I felt that she wouldn't do the same for me. So I asked her plainly if she had my back, and she said Yes. I don't know - I think I am disappointed with her. I thought she would defend me but she didnt.
Another disappointment was with E. Since he's the husband, I thought he would have just defended me and said sorry on my behalf. But he didn't and I accept that.
Bottom line is - EVERYONE WANTED TO SAVE THEIR ASSES. E didn't want his mother to know that he really didn't want to accompany him and S didn't want to admit to the fact that she too was thinking of an excuse not to go.
And so there - I was betrayed.
I wish them all well though..
Now, moving on! Haha...
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